Monday, June 4, 2007

Carey vs. Donovan, et al

Just got this in my inbox:

The rules have come out for the Drew Carey vs. US Soccer EA Sports FIFA 07 on Xbox 360 Challenge (yes, that's the official name). Drew Carey will compete against Landon Donovan, Abby Wambach, Kasey Keller, Hope Solo and Taylor Twellman on Tuesday between 7-10 p.m. at Home Depot Center in an invite-only event.

Anyway, here are the rules as set forth by the Official Competition Committee:


1. The length of the first five matches, also called the preliminary phase, will be ten (10) minutes long. For each match that Mr. Carey loses in the preliminary phase, he will donate $10,000 to the Mooch Fund.

2. The length of the last match against Mr. Donovan, also called the final phase, will be twenty (20) minutes long. If Mr. Carey loses that match, he will donate $50,000 to the Mooch Fund.

3. For all matches in both the preliminary and final phases, the games will take place in ‘night-time’ conditions. Mr. Carey thinks it looks ‘cooler’.

4. For all matches in both the preliminary and final phases, the field conditions will be ‘dry’. Mr. Carey can control the ball better and not screw up passes as much when the grass isn’t wet.

5. There will be a maximum of three (3) substitutions per match. Unless Mr. Carey can figure out how to give his team more, and the other team less.

6. Players may change formations at any time. Mr. Carey couldn’t think of a reason why this would hurt him.


1. Mr. Carey will choose his team first, and will not divulge the name of said team until five minutes before kickoff of the opening match. This will allow for Mr. Carey to pick the best team possible and give no one a fair chance to prepare.

2. No opponent may use the same team as Mr. Carey, and no opponent may use the same team as any previous opponent of Mr. Carey. Mr. Carey does not wish to get bored playing against the same team over and over again.

3. Mr. Carey reserves the sole right to use Mr. Donovan as a player against himself. Mr. Carey knows that Mr. Donovan is damn good.

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